Princess Fia

This is Fia. She was our surprise baby, born only 12 1/2 months after Pander. Jeff and I were not really planning another baby, but it happens, right? :)

Fia and I had a rough start. I had a bit of a disconnect after she was born and it took us a little while to bond. Looking back, I see many reasons for it. First, I had high expectations due to the immediate connection I felt with Pander. Secondly, I didn't breastfeed-I'm not strictly an advocate of bf'ing, all my kids had bottles at some point, but I honestly didn't give it a fair try with Fia because I was on some equality kick and want Jeff to do half the feedings, which was nuts. Finally, Fia was lactose intolerant which made her cranky, pukey, and just generally difficult and trying to figure out what was wrong put my stress level through the roof. It took us awhile, but I will tell you, that girl now owns a huge chunk of my heart and she is my little princess.

Actually, Fia was a princess from birth on. The night after she was born, I tried to send her to the nursery and get some sleep, but they sent her right back. Apparently, princess started to scream and was disturbing all the other babies. She was too hoity toity for the nursery! When Fia started to walk, my sister and I took her to the mall. She wasn't impressed with the clothes, or toy stores but all of a sudden she took off and pressed her little face up against the glass, totally in awe. Guess what Princess was in love with? The well lit, sparkling, beautiful display of high heels!

Fia has one quality that is very much appreciated in our full, bustling home. She is a neat freak! She loves to clean and organization appears to be her life mission. From the moment she could crawl, she would return toys to the toy box without complaint, she can't stand dirty hands, and she loves to chip in and do household chores. In fact, one day I was reorganizing the girls' room and sent all the kids  to play on the swingset. She came back into the room, so I gave her a choice- play outside or get to work cleaning. She chose to stay and reorganize toy bins right along side me for fun. Since I am not well organized, and I am often okay with a cluttered living space, this can cause some conflict. But when it is time to get going and get things done, Fia is my best helper and I am so thankful for my clean little princess!

Meet Pander

I thought that those of you who don't know me personally might want an introduction to my lil crazies. I'll start with Pander.

Before Pander was born, Jeff and I were living in a fancy apartment, I was working full time in the wedding industry and Jeff worked opposite shifts in restaurant management. We refer to those years as "The Golden Age" because compared to our current life, we were rolling in cash. When  we were married a little over a year, we had a miscarriage and it was a devestating time for us. Months later, we were ready to try again. We went to the store and bought an ovulation kit and were just so excited to start the temperature taking, charting and all that fun "trying to get pregnant" stuff. We ripped the kit open as soon as we got home and read the instruction book. The first thing it said was to take a pregnancy test before you start. I thought that was so weird, who would need to buy an ovulation kit if they were already pregnant? I sent Jeff back to the store anyway, to get a test. When he got home I took it and, surprise, surprise, I was already pregnant! Guess it was a good thing we decided we were ready, huh?

Pander is a special guy. I know, all kids are special. But to me, Pander was the small light given to me in a really dark time. He was a difficult baby, fussy, lots of tummy issues, but he loved to snuggle and he was always momma's little man. I had no clue how to parent, read everything I could get my hands on, and still didn't know what I was doing, though you never would have heard me admit it at the time. Once, when he was dealing with tummy pain, my grandma kept saying "give that baby some Karo syrup!" and I kept saying "I don't want to try old wives tales, I'm taking him to the pediatrician!" When I finally got to the doctors office, guess what he said? "Put dark Karo syrup in a bottle of water every morning until he's regular." Ouch, should've listened to grandma!

Pander is a smarty pants. By the time he was 18 months old, he knew all his letters and the sounds they made. At 4 years, he was reading. Not just short sentences, but whole books and with expression and feeling. In his kindergarten class last year, he had to be his own reading group because there were no other 5 year olds who could keep up with him. He tries to negotiate with me, always wants to know the reason for everything, can study ants on the sidewalk for hours, and has announced his decision to become a mad scientist when he grows up.

Pander is also an emotional, sensitive boy. As a baby, he didn't walk until he was a year and a half because he of his cautious spirit. He cries when other people cry, and we have to be careful about bringing him into the service at church because if any slow hymns play, he gets overwhelmed by the music and weeps. This emotional side has definite negative points, for instance, small conflicts or discipline can send him into a tailspin. Often times I tell him he needs to stop crying and he says "I just don't know how to stop!" He is easily overwhelmed. But there are up sides to the sensitivity. Whenever I am upset, he is right there loving up on me, making sure I am okay. He never wants to hurt anyone, and is quick to help the other crazies feel better. Such a sweet little man.

So that's my emotional intellectual, Pander. (Who, by the way, just ran through the yard yelling "I'm a beautiful, magical butterfly!" What a kid.)

Commercial Logic

Pander and I have an ongoing debate about his Halloween costume. He chose one last year during the post trick or treat clearance, and has since decided he doesn't like it. The costume he picked is a GI Joe Black Ninja. I think it is awesome, so I am not willing to spend more money so he can change his mind.
Last night, we tried on costumes because next week Pander and Fia have a Costume Parade at school and I wanted to make sure everything fits. Fia's hippie costume was too big (she is a tall, skinny stick so this is a common event and she wasn't upset) so she will be wearing the sparkly soldier outfit I picked for MooMoo. Moo will be wearing the ballet costume Fia used for her last dance recital now, and she is thrilled. Noodle's Zookeeper costume was a perfect fit, yay. Now we get to Pander.
Pander's Ninja costume was a perfect fit, thank goodness. But he HATES it. "It's too long." "I don't like that it covers my face!" "Without the face cover, it just looks like a hood!"  No matter what I tried, he wasn't happy. So he took it off and I gave him a decision to make- he can wear the ninja outfit, or his karate uniform, or no costume at all. He stomped off to his room and I didn't see his angry little face until dinner.
Fast forward to this morning. I am still laying down, not even out of bed yet, when Pander approaches with a new attempt to sway me. "My brain was thinking on my 2 costume choices, and my brain decided no to both of them." Way to blame your brain, dear. I reminded him of the money we spent on his costume and told him we will not be buying a different one. He then broke out with his Commercial Logic. "Didn't we buy this costume from Target?" Yes, we did. "Target says to Buy more, pay less. I want to follow that direction." We did buy something there and we did pay less because it was on clearance. "But I want to follow the direction that says to Buy More, and you always say we have to follow directions!" Insert big, cheesy grin that says he feels there is no way he can lose this discussion now because he has used my own rule to defeat me! Sometimes, there is no reasoning with a 6 year old. So here is where I pull out the arguement that all mommies swear not to use, but do anyway. "You are not getting a new costume, no matter what Target says, because I said so!" Maybe next time he'll ask about this when I'm awake and out of bed, and I'll think of a better way to battle his commercial logic.

Monday's Crazy

Today was a great day- until noon! Fia and I went on her class field trip to the pumpkin farm. We spent some quality time bonding, I had the chance to meet a few of the classmates she has been talking about for weeks now. My favorite memory from the day was when Fia was trying to feed the goats in the petting zoo. The goats were not very hungry and even though her hand was out, they were not coming for a goaty snack. All of a sudden Fia flew back, tripping over her own lil feet, yelling "What is that big goat?!" Apparently there was a llama in the same pen and he wanted the food. Poor Fia thought she discovered a giant goat. Makes me smile- Princess doesn't belong on a farm.
When we came home, things fell apart a bit. Noodle and MooMoo were "napping" in the same room. They got on the top bunk bed together and Noodle (of course, remember he is Rowdy Baby) launched himself off! He scraped his belly on the nearest dresser, hit his chin into the dresser as well, and managed to bite halfway through his tongue. Fortunately, he fell in a way that all the injuries were not severe. Within 20 minutes, he was done bleeding, done crying and running around. The pediatrician just wanted us to watch him, he has seemed fine.
Most Monday nights, the girls go to ballet and tap for an hour while Pander, Noodle and I sit in the hallways with other parents and siblings. After Humpty Dumpty's great fall this afternoon, we decided to stay home since sitting in the hallway is one of Noodle's least favorite activities of the week. I know better than to ask for extra trouble!

Am I Insane?!?!

Hi! I'm Debi, and I am living a life very similar to the old woman who lived in a shoe.  I suppose that there is a strong enough arguement that some would call me insane.

I have been married to Jeff for over 8 years now and we have 4 crazies, or uh, kids. Pander is 6, he is my Firstborn, the emotional intellectual, distracted, cautious and caring. Fia is 5, she is my Princess, full of attitude, always right and devoted to cleanliness.  MooMoo is 3 1/2, she is my Quiet Clown, the passive aggresive jokester, sneaking in a quick hug before she steals your seat or hides your keys.  Noodle is 2 1/2, he is my Rowdy Baby, a bit behind in some of his milestones, but catching up by the minute, doesn't walk if he can run, doesn't run if he can leap, doesn't leap if he can launch himself off of something. If you have been reading closely, you have discovered the first reason you could call me insane- all 4 of the crazies were born within a period of 3 1/2 years.

Referring back to said old lady, she had a lot of kids, as do I. But she lived in a shoe, you say.  Well, my shoe is a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house with less than 900 sq. ft. of living space. 6 people in a tiny house with one potty? That would be the second reason you may call me insane.

While I am a stay at home mom, Jeff does double duty. He works full time second shift in a retail computer troubleshooting job. He also goes to college during the day. This means that most weekdays, Jeff leaves the house to take Pander and Fia to school before 8 AM, goes to class, does homework, goes to work and comes home at 11PM. So I am home with the kids all day by myself 5 days a week while he is out of the house working hard for 15 hours. Weekends are a bit better, though half of Jeff's Saturdays in a month are reserved for studying and homework. Coming as close to single parenting as possible without actually being a single parent is the thrid reason you could call me insane.

As I said, Pander and Fia are in school. Pander is in 1st grade, while Fia is in K-4 and only goes to school for 2 1/2 hours every day. This means we make a total of 3 trips to school every day. Jeff takes the first trip on his way to school, then I bundle up the kids for the last 2 trips. Not so bad in the summer, but in the frigid midwestern winter MooMoo, Noodle and I spend half our days bundling up to go to school and unbundling when we get home. Insane, right? Between trips, we work on home preschooling. This is my first year adding a preschool cirriculum to our hectic schedule, in the hopes of feeling ready to pull Pander and Fia out and homeschool everyone next year. And yes, this is the final reason you may call me insane, having a goal of homeschooling 4 kids in 4 separate grades, while still dealing with the other insane issues of a small house and a nearly missing husband.

I am writing this blog to help me sort through the insanity. To remind me of what we actually accomplish when I start to see my life through the eyes of those who do think I'm crazy. To focus on the funny, the silly and the just plain weird that happens in a family. I want to share with you that if you look close enough, what looks like insanity from the outside, is really love.